Nobody would believe you. Editors would eviscerate you for even suggesting the idea. And it's all true.
The Department of Homeland Security has decided on the perfect place for its headquarters: St. Elizabeth's Hospital, the District of Columbia's historic looney bin, originally known as the Government Hospital for the Insane.
Speaking as someone who was in the Pentagon on 9/11 and who has witnessed the crap commited in the name of "national security" since, it just doesn't get more perfect than that.